I came throughout the abbreviation FOMOMG for the first time this weekend. Coined with the aid of the model, designer, and author Leomie Anderson, FOMOMG (Fear of Missing Out on My Goals) displays her feeling that she is jogging out of time to perform her dreams.

This is something I can really discover with; I in reality idea I could have a Bafta by using now. I spoke to my teenage cousins approximately their lifestyles dreams and by the point, they may be my age they want holiday homes abroad, million-pound salaries and supercars – whilst did such wildly formidable dreams come to be a regular a part of millennial life? The 3 of them are obsessed with Instagram and Snapchat, obsessed on how their peers view their lives. Immense wealth is a pleasing concept, but with greater graduates than ever earlier than having to do internships before making any form of salary, a greater realistic goal list might be so as. No 1: pass out of Mum’s house.

It got me considering the list I created as a teen. I wasn’t pretty as bold because the youngsters of these days, however, I surely had hope. First off: “A house, maybe two, by using 30.” How precocious. No wonder I wasn’t popular. This hasn’t worked out flawlessly. At 32, I stay with my accomplice in a rented, ex-council flat in east London. While we speak approximately getting at the belongings ladder on a daily foundation, it doesn’t get us any nearer. It appears that, if I’m ever in a position to shop for a house in any respect, I’ll control it just before I did – so, at least my destiny children (if I can ever afford them) can inherit it. That’s a firm move thru ambition No 1, then.

No 2: “Have a job I love.” This one I actually have managed and I feel notably privileged for having accomplished so. I love being a comedian, however, it is also my predominant source of Fomo (Fear of Missing Out). Travelling all over the us of a every week is superb, however it does often mean my Saturday dinner is a store-bought sandwich in the dingy backroom of a comedy membership (the glamour), scrolling through Instagram posts of events I am lacking: friends’ 30ths, family’ weddings, some random girl from faculty doing photographs in a Texas-themed nightclub (the vicinity, not the band).

Never before have we been able to stalk others so overtly. Once upon a time, in case you wanted to find out what Karen from school had performed along with her existence, you’ll have to music her down and befriend her (or cover in her boxes). Now, a few clicks and you could see she is fortuitously married, has two beautiful kids and a handsome husband and has been on two journeys overseas this yr. It’s very clean to become jealous of people’s Instagram-filtered existence. It’s clean to be triumph over with Fomo.

The 1/3 aim on my listing of lifestyles to-dos was “journey the arena”. I haven’t managed that, as I’ve been too focused on saving for the two houses I haven’t offered. When I chatted to a pal approximately this within the pub on Sunday, she cited that obtaining married could have been quite excessive on her list. It wasn’t on mine, probably because as a closeted youngster, marriage wasn’t even an option. That can be brought to the reputedly neverending list, which now consists of swimming with dolphins, going to Disneyland, climbing a mountain and writing a unique. Now this list is just putting me up for failure.

I recommend we rip up the lists and plans. Maybe we need to be a chunk more honest on social media about the united states of America and downs of lifestyles. I will start here: last month I controlled to lock myself in a bathroom cubicle moments earlier than going on stage. With no different preference, I climbed over the top, ripped my trousers and fell right into a puddle on the ground, which turned into likely urine. You’re welcome.

Taxi for the robots!
I wouldn’t take a robotic cab. Sorry, Addison Lee, but I’ve seen Black Mirror, as have hundreds of others, so I know I’m not the most effective one that reveals the idea of a driverless fleet of taxis terrifying.

Admittedly, I have by no means been a lot of a robotic fan. Maybe my lack of interest become because of Star Wars’ C3PO, who, don’t inquire from me why I determined terrifying. I suppose it’s to do with the way he walks. As a child, I did as soon as receive a robotic toy for Christmas, but that became simply because of lack of buddies as opposed to the love of anything android.

It’s now not simply the logistics of a driverless cab which might be scary (what if it locks the doors and kidnaps me?) or the truth that the fast evolution of AI makes me experience as if I’m residing in a sci-fi film (let’s be sincere, they hardly ever end well). It’s that computerized cabs are just some other manner for humans to forestall speaking. It’s some other step in the direction of an international wherein you sit down on maintain to talk to a computer approximately your loss of wifi.

And if the communicative achievement of robotic checkouts is something to head via, I am no longer retaining my breath for the driverless taxi. I actually have never used one without at the least as soon as having to get the attention of the solo ex-cashier strolling about with a handful of reusable luggage, sweat on her forehead and a longing in her eyes for the bygone days whilst she would ask: “Have you acquire a Club Card, love?”

No, I like a bit of human interaction. I could pass over chatting to a cabbie – the marginally awkward conversations at some stage in an election, making up a profession after I don’t want to mention I am a comedian, the wintry weather two years in the past while a cab motive force and I sang all of Last Christmas. When the driverless taxi revolution takes to the air, I’ll hail a cabbie.

DVDs are finished? I’ll await the reboot
The cupboard beneath my TV is complete of DVDs. Movies, collection, standup shows – masses of hours of leisure, all blanketed in dust. I can’t recall the final time I opened the DVD participant. I’m sure it would creak like the door to a deserted residence if I tried. John Lewis said this week that it’s going to forestall stocking DVD gamers; the rise of streaming and catch-up TV has made them redundant. I can be preserving preserve of mine, even though. It’s simplest a be counted of time earlier than we are inundated with unfashionable, pop-up, vegan DVD bars, wherein punters watch the extras at the When Harry Met Sally bonus disc. When the time comes, they will be welcome to borrow my copy.